7 things to know to be successful

This article offers us the opportunity to more easily reach our personal and professional goals, developing better private and business relationships. It leads us to reflect on our habits and to change them so that they can lead us to success, both in our private and working lives.

A real guide that accompanies us along the path that will take us from dependence to the renewal process and that will allow us to continuously improve.

The 7 rules are divided into 3 parts: the first three are used to move from addiction to independence, and define private success. The next three allow you to move from independence to interdependence, and define public success. The last one is the renewal process that is necessary to continuously improve ourselves.

Rule 1: Be proactive

Proactivity means more than just taking the initiative. It means being responsible for your life. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not of the conditions in which we live. We can subordinate feelings and sensations to values. We have the initiative and sense of responsibility needed to make things happen.We need to move from reactivity, based on the stimulus / response paradigm, to proactivity, because between the stimulus and the response there is freedom of choice, based on our values. To do this, we must first identify, then use, our resources and initiatives. Proactive people focus their efforts on the sphere of influence, that is, on those factors that can be transformed by their doing. The important thing is to focus on the internal and external factors over which you have control.

Passive or reactive people instead focus on the sphere of involvement, or on what they do not control, on the problems presented by the environment, on people’s weaknesses. The result in this case consists of accusatory attitudes, in a reactive language, in the exacerbation of their sense of frustration and helplessness.

Proactive people are not unscrupulous social climbers: they are intelligent, motivated by values, they manage to interpret reality and know what is right to do. Of course, the path has some consequences and sometimes even mistakes. The proactive approach is to recognize an error instantly, to correct it and to learn from what has happened.

The important thing is to make and maintain a commitment with ourselves. This is the essence of developing effectiveness.

Rule 2: Start thinking about the end

This chapter starts with a visualization exercise. Basically: imagine being at your funeral. What would you like a loved one, your best friend, a work colleague, an acquaintance with whom you shared a passion to say about you?

Questo serve ad avere l’immagine della fine della nostra vita come quadro di riferimento, come criterio in base al quale eliminare ogni altra cosa. Cominciare dalla fine significa iniziare con una chiara comprensione della nostra destinazione. Significa sapere dove siamo diretti, per capire meglio dove ci troviamo ora e far sì che compiamo i passi sempre nella direzione giusta. In questo modo siamo sicuri non solo della nostra efficienza, ma anche e soprattutto della nostra efficacia.

Efficiency (typical of management) means doing things in the best way. Effectiveness (typical of leadership) means doing the right things. We achieve personal proactivity and leadership through self-awareness, imagination and consciousness. The best thing to do to start with the end in mind is to develop your mission by expressing it in a personal statement.

We start from the heart of our vision, or rather from our paradigms, and direct it towards our sphere of influence. In writing it, we focus on the ultimate goal and not on the activity to be carried out to achieve it. Writing your mission requires you to reflect deeply, and to harmonize our behavior with our beliefs. This then gives us the charge.

A good declaration has 5 fundamental ingredients: it is personal, positive, conjugated to the present; possesses visual evidence and emotional strength. It must be done with respect to the roles we play in life (for example father, mother, son, grandfather, worker, member of a group, etc.). Even a company can make a corporate mission statement. The important thing is that it is shared by every worker, and that everyone can make their contribution.

One of the characteristics of athletes and peak performers is that they are viewers. They start thinking in the end.

Rule 3: Prioritize priorities

The fundamental question is: what is, among the things you could do (and what you don’t do now) that which, if done regularly, would bring about a huge positive change in your personal life? What is the thing that would allow similar results in your professional activity?

Rule 3 is the concrete application of the first two. With this rule the independent will develops which makes effective self-management possible. It is the ability to make decisions, make choices and act in accordance with them. Being effective managers of ourselves means having the discipline that comes from within, from our will. Time management is often talked about, but this is misleading. The center of it all is managing ourselves. Satisfaction depends on expectation and fulfillment.

To put principle 3 into practice, we create our time matrix, which has 4 quadrants:

  • Quadrant 1 : these are important and urgent activities.
  • Quadrant 2 : these are important and non-urgent activities.
  • Quadrant 3 : these are not important and urgent activities.
  • Quadrant 4 : these are non-important and non-urgent activities.

We need to put our daily activities into these quadrants. Those that require discipline and continuous commitment, and that are able to significantly change our life in the long term, are those of the second quadrant. They are important and not urgent.

Planning, relationship building, research and creation of new opportunities, moments of renewal and growth, close. To create space in this quadrant, you need to set aside the activities of quadrants 3 and 4. This means learning to say “no” to other activities. You have to choose the objectives and implement a weekly schedule, not a daily one.

This is a broader planning that allows you to be more effective. It is also important to learn to delegate.

Rule 4: Thinking through the win / win paradigm

The basis for rules 4, 5 and 6 is true independence. Interdependence is a choice that only independent people can make.

There are six paradigms of human interaction: